American Idol’s Curtain Call

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FOX has finally decided to pull the plug on their long-standing reality music competition American Idol.

I’m not even doing a slow clap for this one, I’m standing on top of the chair, whistling and doing the Arsenio Hall fist pump for this one.

Because they should have cancelled that show years ago.

But first, before I get into my theories on why the show deserves to be cancelled, let’s begin with honoring what American Idol once was.

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In its prime AI‘s audience was loyally glued to their seats beginning with the audition process. Once the right contestants were selected they moved forward to Hollywood Week which at times got brutal. Subsequently, after making some really deep cuts, the final auditions took place which culminated in the final 12 Idol contestants being selected to perform weekly in hopes of becoming the new American Idol.

During this process viewers were guaranteed to find at least one performer they could rock out with. And if that person was eliminated viewers would commiserate with fellow fans and vow to never watch the show again.

Until the following week because there was always another contestant they could root for.

Ultimately, even after all of the viewer’s favorites were gone they still had the option of cheering for one of the two finalists.

AI provided an exciting two hours as we watched the contestants journey from obscurity to fame within the course of just under six months.

And there have been many classic moments.

Who can forget the awe of watching Fantasia sing ‘Summertime‘ barefoot on the floor of the stage? Or the collective ‘What The Fuck?!’ heard around the nation when Jennifer Hudson got kicked off? Or the backlash from when Ruben “won” AI– but you knew that Clay was the real winner.

Much like when Katharine McPhee “lost” to Taylor Hicks, a man most people will now refer to as “Oh Yeah, he did win didn’t he?

All jokes aside, we have AI to thank for bringing Paula Abdul back into our lives, even if only for a little while.

I’m sure everyone wondered exactly what was in that huge red Coca Cola cup she sipped from every week (rum).

We also have AI to thank for being the springboard for such talented singers as Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Adam Lambert.

Still, when was the last time AI churned out a solidified star?

Give up?

It was Jordin Sparks back in 2007.

That was eight years ago.

And just to be fair the last performer who garnered a lot of buzz based from their AI performances was 2013 winner Candice Glover.

But her CD suuuucked.

And this is why AI has to end.

Although they were once able to take the inspiration from the WB’s 2001 reality singing competition Popstars (remember Eden’s Crush?) and turn that into a groundbreaking moment in television history, the show’s glory days are clearly over.

Because even after adding talented judges like Keith Urban and Harry Connick Jr to their roster, who have been offering stellar critiques that far surpass the judgment and infamous cruelty from earlier judges like Simon Cowell and Kara Dioguardi, it still wasn’t enough to keep AI‘s ratings on the same level as their direct competition, NBC’s The Voice.

And when the highly publicized feud between season 12 judges Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey didn’t help the ratings skyrocket that should have been another indication for them to pull the plug.

Finally, after Fox producers enticed JLo to drive her Fiat down to the studio twice a week to collect a check for judging people who can actually sing (which I always thought was one of the biggest ironies of life) and the ratings still didn’t climb I’m assuming that’s when they said ‘You know what? Fuck this shit.’

So yes, American Idol, it’s time for you to throw on your good wig and heels, sit on the stool under the spotlight one last time and sing like it’s your farewell concert.

Because it is your farewell concert.

You put on a hell of a show and kept us entertained for a very long time.

You even introduced us to the new Dick Clark, Ryan Seacrest, who in turn introduced us to America’s new idols the Kardashians.

For that reason alone, AI, you should have been cancelled years ago.

Many people will flock back to Fox to check out AI‘s last season while other’s will read the news of AI‘s cancellation with their head turned to the side thinking to themselves “That shit is still on?”

Yes, it is. But only for one more season.

Will you be watching?

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