‘Bout That Life Son!


Oh Justin.

You’re not a thug darlin’.

You’re a young, entitled douchebag with too much money and not enough talent.

However, your wealth and privilege will get you an unlimited pass to the free ride that is Celebrity Forgiveness.

And no. I don’t mean ‘forgiveness’ like when celebrities say or do something stupid and then release a half-assed statement that reads like this. When I say Celebrity Forgiveness I mean that, because you are a celebrity, you will be able to consistently fuck up, get thrown in jail, go home a few hours later, fuck up again, get thrown in jail, get out, fuck up again, and so on and so forth.

Many people like to give Justin the ‘He’s just misguided!! He’s trying to break free from his squeaky clean image!’ excuse, but that doesn’t fly with me. Because you don’t become an adult by pissing in mop buckets and throwing eggs at someone’s house. That sounds like the plot from a PG-13 rated lost episode of Saved By The Bell.

The problem with all of these theatrics is that it doesn’t really serve a purpose for your brand. You’re wylin’ out, driving drunk, spitting on your fans and acting the ass for what? Because you want people to think you’re hardcore? Watching you go through all of these thug shenanigans is the equivalent of getting robbed at gunpoint by Drake.

It’s preposterous!

Get your act together young whipper snapper. You’re doing too much and making yourself look really fuckin’ stupid. If you need to use an example of someone who really is about that life you need to holla at Taylor Swift.

And no, not because she’s beating bitches in the head with champagne bottles and causing all kinds of ratchet ruckus. It’s because she’s smarter about her brand.

Listen little guy, you’re 19. We get it, you want to establish your independence and break free from the image that you’ve put out there. An image, mind you, that has made you more famous than you should be and gotten you more pussy than you deserve.

Embrace the image. Ride that shit out until it no longer works for you.

Like Taylor. Everyone was under the impression that she was a cute little white girl with a guitar singing songs about lollipops, unicorns and wonder. Little did we know that behind closed doors Taylor was getting fucked! Her guitar wasn’t the only thing that she liked to have stroked, but we, the public, remained unaware because she kept that shit hidden as to not fuck with her money. Now all the women of Hollywood know not to leave their men around Taylor because she’s a siren with some killer snatch.

Sugar walls comin’ down n#gga’s can’t stand it!


The bottom line here is that we don’t believe you Justin. You need more people and a better image because you not ’bout that life son!





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