Empire Re-Cap: A Furnace For Your Foe

Empire Season 3 Episode 9: A Furnace For Your Foe

You know what? Last night’s finale was kinda boring.

Especially when you consider the cliffhanger from last year. However, it still needs to be recapped. It won’t take long.

Here’s last week’s recap if you need it.

 

Everyone Gets PLAYED

 

We open with Angelo, accompanied by Mama Diane and Cookie, addressing a crowd at Rockaway Beach in his continued effort to become the mayor of New York City, and the crowd is less than pleased with his presence.

“Get yo’ bougie ass outta here!” They taunt him, until Cookie strolls up to the mic.

“Shut up mutha fuckas. I’m Cookie Lyon. Ask about a bitch.”

“WE LOVE YOU MISS COOKIE!”

“GREAT TITS!”

The crowd is completely enamored with her, especially after she tells them that the original uptight Captain’s Ball has been scrapped for the new and improved People’s Ball, taking place right there Queens.

Mama Diane is not pleased.

“Girl, who the hell is gonna produce this proposed ghetto hootenanny?” She asks.

“Me bitch, now move out my way so I can make some calls.” Cookie yells, running back to her limo before Diane can snatch her weave out.

Diane gives Angelo the ‘This some bullshit look’ and all Angelo can do is smile nervously because Cookie got that bomb ass nookie.

In this scene Mama Diane gets PLAYED.

Later, while Jamal and Closet Boo D Major rehearse for the upcoming People’s Ball D gives loving support for his favorite secret piece of ass until Lucious interrupts, then he immediately distances himself as not to be incriminated with the gay boy.

“Dad what you doin’ here?”

“Son you not ready to perform.” He says, shockingly with concern. “And don’t be singing about our family or I’ma run you over with my Phantom then have Juanita and Thirsty bury your ass.”

#FatherOfTheYear

“I’m off my meds Dad!” Jamal squeals, then runs back to Closet Boo for more rehearsals.

Meanwhile at the police station Tariq is finally building his case for a judge so the FBI can freeze Lucious’ assets and get a hold of Empire’s finances. The judge agrees, but then says, “This seems personal. It better not be.”

Tariq knows it’s personal but he says nothing.

Back at the Cookie Palace Lucious drops in.

“Listen. I know you bussin’ it wide for Angelo now, but Jamal is fucked up. And if you send him on that stage and he’s damaged because of it you’ll hate yourself.”

Look at Lucious making sense and caring about his kids! First time for everything I guess.

Oh wait, never mind. 15 minutes later he’s on a Ferris wheel at a carnival (the fuck???) with Mama Diane, plotting and planning.

“I need you to threaten someone for me.” Diane asks ever so gracefully.

“I need you to break Cookie and Angelo up for me.” Lucious retorts.

They both agree to cause a ruckus.

The next day Lucious’ caring words get to Cookie because she goes to see Jamal.

“Baby, are you sure you’re ready to perform??” She asks lovingly.

Jamal sighs. “Yeah mom. I got this.”

“Good. Now give me your pills.”

“Huh?”

“The pills bitch! NOW!” Cookie demands.

Mally goes to his room and gives her the pills.

“Is this it?” She asks.

“Huh? Yeah.”

She walks over to his man purse and retrieves his secret stash.

Cookie is displeased. “Really? Is this it?”

“I swear on Bunky’s grave Ma. That’s it-“

Cookie lunged at him with a balled up fist. “GIMME THEM PILLS PHYLLIS!!!”

Finally Jamal goes into his cupboard and retrieves the rest of his stash from a box of Cocoa Puffs. Cookie dumps them in the sink.

Back at Leviticus Lucious holds up his end of the bargain with Diane by threatening a journalist, Edison Cruz (Frank Whaley), with help from none other than Sticky Fingaz himself. He comes out and raps for 3) seconds about kidnapping kids and killing dogs.

“Is that a threat?” Edison asks.

“For a journalist you really don’t know how to read between the lines do you?” Lucious toys with him. “Step light bitch.”

Lucious goes back to inform Diane that his end of the deal is done, and now it’s her turn.

“Well see, what had happened was….Angelo’s ratings have improved because of Cookie so I’m not gonna do that anymore. But I can get you an I Love NY keychain if you want?”

In this scene Lucious gets PLAYED, but he remained cool. And we know how that always turns out for the person who does him dirty.

Meanwhile Dre’ is having a depressive episode and Nessa finds him balled up on the couch.

“I’m bipolar…” he explains. “And Rhonda used to take care of me.”

“That’s ‘cause she’s white! I ain’t takin’ care of no grown ass man!” Nessa replies. “I’ma help you learn how to take care of yourself because I love you Polar Boo.”

At that moment Dre’ knows that he got a Real One.

And so does Rhonda, who makes another appearance just in time for the winter finale.

She appears seated not too far from Dre’ and Nessa with the ‘This bitch..’ face. Probably because she’s only been dead for two months and Dre’s already moved on with some barely legal twink from the ‘hood.

Later on everyone is awaiting Jamal’s arrival at the People’s Ball. Becky With the Good Hair informs Cookie that driver has been waiting for him out side of his apartment for over two hours so Cookie, dressed as a Solid Gold dancer of New Year’s Eve,  throws her cape on to save the day. Hakeem and Tiana perform (yawn) and then kiss (double yawn) solidifying what we all knew at the beginning of season 3; they’re back together now (as power couple TaKeem…triple yawn)

In this scene, Hakeem and Tiana PLAYED themselves because nobody cares.

Cookie arrives at Jamal’s apartment to find him vomiting and lying on his couch going through withdrawal.

“Mama I needs ma’ pills!” He begs, looking like a sad, sad drug addict because he is a sad, sad drug addict.

Cookie, the ever-loving mother, takes pity on her middle son and uses his tools to remove the pipe from the kitchen sink to retrieve the pills he requested.

Now THAT’S some love for you!

But unfortunately, in this scene, Cookie gets PLAYED.

While Phyllis Lyon is home getting ready to make his debut at the People’s Ball Dre’ is on the beach having one last talk with Rhonda.

“Baby, you gotta let me go. I love you. You is smart, you is kind, you is IMPORTANT,” She coos to him, both of them crying like babies.

“I love you Rhonda. And I’ma make sure Nessa becomes a huge star.”

“Fuck that!” She says. “Go kill Anika. That’s what you can do for me boo.”

One last kiss, and Rhonda the Friendly Ghost is gone forever.
I’ma miss her 🙁

Back at the People’s Ball everyone is still waiting for Cookie and Jamal.

“I’m HEERRRREE!!!!” Jamal says, moving past everyone and hitting the stage. He rocked it and the crowd loved him. Cookie looked on with proud eyes, and then when the performance was over she and Jamal leave the stage.

“Did I do good Mom?” Jamal asks.

“Yes baby, yes….” She says. “Now you gotta go to rehab.”

Jamal’s face dropped. He turned around and saw his entire family, as well as Philip, waiting to shove his ass off the rehab.

“But Mom-“

“Boyyyeee, I dug pills out of a dirty ass sink for you. It’s the fuck time.”

Realizing how disgusting that is, Jamal goes to rehab.

In that scene, Jamal gets PLAYED.

“Well, this was a lovely day.” Cookie says two minutes later while leaving with Angelo and Diane. “Angelo got tons of money from the event and Jamal is off to rehab. All’s right with the world!”

“Mr. Dubois, is it true that someone died during your DUI decades ago??” Edison Cruz returns with a camera crew. Mama Diane tries to shield her son from the press, but then here come Lucious.

“Your white friend with the ratty wig tried to warn you last week not to fuck with me didn’t she??” He says to Diane, then looks over at Angelo. “Don’t drop the soap bitch.”

Lucious walks off, just like he always does after he fucks up worlds like Galactus.

In this scene everyone, except Lucious, gets PLAYED.

In the closing moments of the episode Dre’ finds out that Shine was the one who gave information to Tariq to put the asset freeze in place. He confronts him at Leviticus and offers him a deal.

“We need to work together until it’s time.”

“Time for what?” Shine asks.

“Time to kill my father…”

Highlights

 

– I didn’t get into the scenes with Tariq because they bored me. But basically Lucious went to Tariq’s office and revealed to all the agents that the two of them are brothers. Later, Tariq went to scold Shine about helping Lucious reclaim the money he lost after the asset freeze, but Shine could care less and tells him that their immunity deal will stay in tact because that’s just how shit works.

In all his scenes Tariq gets PLAYED.

– The scene with Lucious, Anika and Leah was crazy. I’m not used to seeing Anika and Lucious back together. It creeps me the fuck out. But Leah’s hair was poppin’. Go Dark and Lovely!

 

– I definitely saw some deep shades of Season 2 last night, especially at the end because it made absolutely no sense to me. But I’ma stick around to see where it goes.

 

Aiight y’all. Happy Holidays! We will do it all over again in March.

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