Empire Season 2 Episode 15: More Than Kin
Empire is a show I personally believe in, even though I know it has lost a huge chunk of its initial fan base.
And I can see why.
Each week the continuity, coherence and cohesiveness of the narrative gets lost inside of huge WOW moments that don’t really make a lot of sense at times.
I still want Empire to be just as good as it was when I first started watching it last year, if not better. I honestly want the show to recognize that it has THREE award winning, Oscar nominated actors within its top billing and utilize their talents to their maximum capacity.
However, with some episodes, I literally stare at the TV like this;
And last night was no different.
If you need it, here’s last week’s review for Time Shall Unfold.
Last week Hakeem was ousted from Empire as CEO after he was embarrassed by Evil Lucious at the shareholder’s
concert meeting. His dethronement, combined with the guilt of discovering Anika is carrying his child causes Keem to flee to the strip club to drown his sorrows in champagne and coochie. Still, it’s not enough to quell his sadness. As he drinks away the pain in a mountain of twerkin’ tits and asses he’s shocked when Laura, his fiancee’, arrives to snap him out of his misery. She reminds him that she’s the one he’s supposed to confide in when times gets rough.
He tells her he got Anika pregnant and didn’t know until recently because it happened before the two of them got together.
Laura slaps the sunglasses off of his drunken face and then leaves. Later, he tracks her down and tries to convince her that the four of them (Hakeem, Laura, Anika and the baby) can make it work. Unfazed, she gives him back his ring because clearly she’s not into starting families with ex-jump offs and their offspring.
Saddened once again, Keem finds Anika and reassures her that he will be there for their baby. But she’s not feeling it, especially after Lucious threatened her last week. Saddened, one last time, Keem finds Lucious and tells him to stay away from Anika and their baby.
However, with all this tension in the air, by the end of the episode Lucious and Hakeem are friends again, as are Cookie and Anika (who have never been friends). And finally, to tie everything up oh so pretty (because this is, after all, Empire) Laura and Keem reconcile by having Keem give Laura back her engagement ring in Anika’s hospital room….while she’s asleep….after almost losing the baby.
Yeah, I know.
They’re All Crazy
While Hakeem is off convincing Anika that she’ll never have to sing the baby momma anthem, the rest of the Lyon’s were choosing their own adventures.
Lucious and Jamal are still campaigning for their American Sound Award (ASA), while Cookie is trying to convince the world that the entire Lyon clan are the First Family of Music (more like the First Family of Fuckery). Andre’, ready to kick the closet door open from his secret shame, suggests that Empire hosts a benefit for the National Alliance for Bipolar Disorder where he will tell everyone about his mental health struggles. At first, Cookie looks like she’s unsure of him telling his story to the world, but about three seconds later she’s on board and she claims that Lucious will also be thrilled to participate.
Wait a minute.
Isn’t Lucious the same mutha fucka that wanted nothing to do with Andre’ or his damn bipolar disorder? Isn’t Cookie the same mutha fucka who called Andre’ crazy last week? Methinks all of the Lyon’s are bipolar, and Dre’ is the only one with the balls to admit it.
But I digress.
It’s evident Lucious and Cookie are T minus ten seconds away from fucking soon, but not before that nosy reporter Discount Whitley (Annie Ilonzeh) puts her bid in for a slice of the Legendary Lyon Dick. In a scene that’s equal parts awkward and creepy the two of them violently kiss and choke each other.
This whole scene was summed up best by my homegirl last night when she posted this on Facebook;
It reminded me of the weird, tear-filled threesome Lucious had with MiMi (Marisa Tomei) not too long ago before her wife Camilla (Naomi Campbell) killed her.
Luckily, that segment of revenge porn was cut short when Cookie called to inform Lucious about Anika’s accident (which I refuse to elaborate on).
Discount Whitley makes a comment about Cookie being a manipulative bitch and Lucious kindly reminds her to shut the fuck up about his baby mom before pushing her onto the couch and having Thirsty call her an Uber back to Hillman.
Later in the episode, after Cookie and Lucious double cross Discount Whitley, she gets her revenge by sharing photos of the group home where Lucious’ mother has been locked away for many many moons with Andre’.
By the end of the episode, after Cookie and Lucious rake in millions of dollars for the National Alliance for Bipolar Disorder, two of the Empire board members decide that Cookie and Lucious should run the company together.
Lucious jumps at the idea, hugging Cookie and then giving the camera this look;
Creepy mutha fucka! You know some shit is about to pop off.
– I liked Jamal’s re-working of the song from the first season. It heightens the mounting ASA tension between him and Lucious.
– We got treated to, not one, but TWO Becky outfits last night! Come through Becky with the good hair!
What the fuck was Cookie wearing last night? The peacock dress made her look like a hooker from Zoobilee Zoo and the outfit she wore to the benefit looked like a dress made out of Cybertron from Transformers.
– The best moment of the night for me was when Laura tracked Hakeem down at the strip club and then referred to it as a thirst trap. The Phrase That Pays happened when one of the offended strippers turned around like ‘Excuse you?’
Now that’s class!
– Michael….you think you can just come back into my life after you got caught blowing the dirty white boy on the balcony? Fuck I look like! I’da fired his ass as soon as I saw him.
And finally, I have to say that this show makes absolutely no sense anymore. But I will finish out the rest of the season because I like to finish what I start.
Plus, I know how much y’all love my re-caps 😉
And even if you don’t, fuck it. I’m still writing them.