Empire Season 2 Episode 9: Sinned Against
I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving. I enjoyed myself and cooked lots of food which is why I was unable to do this review yesterday.
And because I am technically still on vacation I will give you the most succinct breakdown that I can because I want to get back to my chillin’.
If you need to catch up on last week’s episode read the re-cap of My Bad Parts.
I love seeing her with her sisters. When Cookie and Candice (Vivica Fox) left for Philly to locate their crackhead sister Carol (Tasha Smith) at the end of last week’s episode I knew there would be some hilarity. The two of
them ran all over Philly (which looks really fucked up) searching through the finest of crackhouses, but their search is unsuccessful at first. It’s not until Cookie reconnects with her old friend from jail Pepper (Rosie O’Donnel) that they’re able to locate her. After Cookie, Candice and Pepper find Carol, and she vomits all over Candice, they catch a bite to eat at a soul food restaurant.
You know, it’s probably not a good idea to take someone who just earled all over you to a damn soul food restaurant but I’m assuming they like to live dangerously.
I mean, this is Empire after all. Danger lives in every scene.
During their meal Carol decides to go back to New York with Cookie while Candice agrees to continue looking after her kids in Blue Bell.
Later in the episode Cookie and Laz are still having their I Can Do Bad All By Myself sequel of a relationship when Lucious catches them making out and calls Laz the damn maid before spilling red wine all over Cookie’s office carpet.
Later, as Cookie and Laz reunite once again Lucious informs Cookie that Laz is a part of the crew that kidnapped Hakeem, and if we learned nothing from last week it’s that Cookie loves hot Latin dick but not more than her children.
She and Hakeem leave Laz in the room with Lucious and his goons and I’m assuming that next week we won’t even know who Laz is anymore (much like Michael. Remember him?)
Speaking of which
Mally is singing his sad ass songs once again, but now he has brought over SUPASTAH! Skye Summers (Alicia Keys) for a collaboration. At first Jamal is all ‘Oh my God, I am like the biggest Skye Summers fan EVERRRRRRRR!!!!’ And then as the two of them work together Skye isn’t feeling Jamal’s whiny songs and wants something a bit edgier.
A little later we’re treated to a cameo from Lee Daniels himself as he directs Jamal in the Pepsi commercial with that god awful song from last week.
Seriously, that song is bad. It sounds like ‘Who Runs The World’ meets the theme from Friday The 13th.
But of course Jamal kills it with his sweet dance moves all while Skye watches, impressed by Jamal’s artistry.
By the end of the episode Skye, decked out in her finest Charro’s Quinceanera Line of titty dresses, sits at the piano singing a song that reveals her own truth as an artist. Jamal, having heard the song earlier, joins in and the two of them sound terrible. And then they kiss.
WHAT THE FUCK??!!
Boo Boo Kitty:
Anika is a shitty mess this season. Last week she threw on a cheap Rita Ora wig during her part time Uber job to take Hakeem’s girlfriend Laura home after the EPIC BATTLE. This week she’s sitting on the floor of her apartment looking at cutout photos of Laura and Hakeem in what can only be described as a discount tribute to Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction.
A little later Anika goes to see Rhonda (at her new mansion, purchased by Lucious for the new baby) and once again takes some really bad advice from her. Rhonda tells a story of how some whore tried to snag CrazySexyCool Dre’ away from her years ago but she fought for her man and won!
Anika, being the shitty mess that she is, takes this as a personal challenge to make her love for Hakeem be known in front of everyone.
While he’s hosting a few friends at his place with Laura by his side Anika shows up in a tight Merlot colored titty dress. She basically calls Laura a dirty ghetto bitch and reminds Hakeem about his former girlfriend Camilla (Naomi Campbell) yet another victim of this show’s ‘#ByeBitch’ storytelling. After Anika raises all the hell she can in this scene she leaves. This was the first time all season that Anika kinda resembled her old character, but I’ll be interested to see how the rest of the season plays out for her.
-Lucious and Andre’ with this damn SwiftStream storyline seems like something they just threw into the show to keep the checks rolling in for them. I missed LesVillain this week but I’m sure she’ll be back for the finale.
-Hakeem and Laura’s song ‘You Perform Miracles’ made me look at the TV sideways because the only miracle Hakeem performed was when he won the EPIC BATTLE against Freda last week.
Next week is the finale. Please check me out on Twitter (@benrotten) as I will be live tweeting during the show, and will still be posting my re-cap the next day as normal.
Enjoy the rest of this holiday weekend!
And if you’re going out for the Black Friday weekend of shopping please don’t act like an asshole.
Until next week.