Empire Season 2 Episode 13: The Tameness of a Wolf
Last week brought buckets of drama and crazy. This week, like the title suggests, was much more tame. Yet still brought out the crazy (literally).
If you need to catch up check out the re-cap of last week’s episode A Rose By Any Other Name.
Betty and Veronica’s Battle
Tiana (Serayah), finally coming out of the shadows to remind everyone that she is also an artist, launched her ‘Get NoBetter Tour’ with Laura and Mirage a Trois as her opening act.
And she is not pleased.
“That bitch is outta pocket!” Tiana screams at Becky while dressed like a living chandelier. Becky listens because as the tour manager she has no choice, then reports to Hakeem that he needs to come and get his girls because they’re acting crazy.
Keem, who has served the Legendary Lyon Dick to both of them, could care less because…..he’s served the Legendary Lyon Dick to both of them.
But once he’s reminded of his role as CEO he steps in and addresses the situation. They both complain about one another in a quick montage and then we’re treated to Tiana and her crystal booty angels performing ‘Look But Don’t Touch’ to a sold out crowd. As a sign of solidarity, Tiana and Laura perform together with Keem.
All seems fair and good with Hakeem and his ladies.
Well, all of his ladies except Camilla who died last week.
So if Laura and Tiana are Betty and Veronica, and Keem is Archie…then that means Camilla was Miss Grundy.
Daddy Wasn’t There
That damn Lucious (we’ll get to him in a little bit). Hakeem and Jamal hate him so much they will stop at NOTHING to thwart his evil ways. They decide to travel to Philly to get his protege Freda Gatz (Bre-Z) to turn on him by performing a song with them.
Freda, who you may remember as the undeniable
winner loser of the EPIC BATTLE last year, thinks of Lucious as a father figure and will be DAMNED if she turns on him. She tells them both to fuck off back to SoHo and then strolls away with all the power like Q from Juice. Besides, she and Lucious have a cosplay Game of Thrones video to star in together for that ‘Boom Boom Boom Boom’ song. Or at least, that’s what she thinks when she she shows up to the video set the next day and is treated to Lucious’ ‘Oh I Don’t Need You Anymore‘ style of parenting.
He’s changed the entire concept of his video (just wait, I’ma get to that) without informing Freda first.
Hurt, Freda finds Mally in the studio (because where the fuck else would he be?) ironically singing the song he wanted her to appear on. The two compare stories of the many times their fathers had disappointed them, and then they ultimately collaborate on the song.
Later in the episode Cookie, who is still reeling from all of the events during her birthday dinner (WAIT!) joins Keem and Mally in the studio as Freda spits her verse on their track. Impressed by her lyricism, once Freda shouts out her father Frank Gathers (Chris Rock) Cookie’s heart drops into her stomach. Excusing herself from the studio session, Cookie is reminded of how she was the one that had Frank murdered in jail……by Lucious.
One of two things is about to happen; Freda is either going to wage a bloody war with the entire Lyon family when she finds out or Lucious and Cookie will adopt Freda and change her name to Lyonness Lyon Gatz.
Oh Lucious. People think Empire is all about Cookie, Becky’s wardrobe and the music. But the true star of Empire is and always will be
Dwight Walker Lucious Lyon!
Ready to jump on the concept of his video for ‘Boom 4x’ (cause I’m not typing that shit out again) he scraps the original medieval idea and incorporates the harsh realities of his upbringing. He and Cookie drive down to South Philly to capture some footage for the video, including the lion he slept underneath while he was homeless that inspired his new name.
With Cookie’s help he digs deeper into his past, but all that does is bring up very painful memories.
Like when he was living in abandoned buildings and eating out of trashcans. Or when he was introduced to selling drugs by Frank Gathers.
Or the time his mom tried to drown him, which you would think is bad enough.
Until he reveals that her final act of craziness was blowing her brains out in front of him.
I didn’t see that coming, and neither did Cookie. But she tells Lucious to use that pain to tell his story. On set, it’s all too much for him to handle and Cookie takes over, coaching the actors and directing the video.
While all of this Lucious drama is taking place Cookie is requesting everyone be together for her birthday. And since most of the family hates Lucious everyone declines.
Surprisingly, after Cookie shows up to Lucious’ house in her finest Rose’ colored Muppet fur coat the family is there, serenading her with their version of Stevie Wonder’s ‘Happy Birthday’ and then the episode goes off while everyone’s happy.
Just kidding. You know that would never happen on Empire.
Cookie decides that with her family surrounding her it’s the perfect time to show the finished version of Lucious’ ‘Boom 4x’ video.
Lucious eventually admits that he knew there was mental illness in their family. And it should have ended there. But no.
Not with Messy Dwight.
Dre’ and Lucious get into a huge shouting match that ends with Lucious telling Dre’ that he views Dre’s mental illness as a weakness, and he’s embarrassed to have him as a son.
Dre’ damns Lucious to hell, and Lucious does the same to Dre’.
Happy Birthday Cookie!
– Oh Becky…..I love you. Do you love me? Why purple baby? WHYYYYY???!!!!!
– Tiana’s tour sure is poppin’. Especially when you take into consideration she only got one damn song. Only on Empire.
– Discount Whitley is back! And Cookie wasn’t here for any of it (Lucious is still gonna fuck her, just you wait).
– Keem interacting with Laura’s family was a touching moment. And when he proposed to her after the fallout from Cookie’s birthday dinner, that was even better. But Tiana’s approval??? THAT was the money shot.
– ….Guess who’s baccccckkkkkk?????
Until next week.