Empire Season 2 Episode 14: Time Shall Unfold
I’m not sure how you felt about last night’s episode, but that shit was terrible. Rushed plots. Incoherent storytelling. It was a whole mess.
If you need to read last week’s recap for The Tameness of a Wolf here it is.
Oh Empire, I have to warn you….this is gonna hurt.
The Gay Salt N Pepa
Ever since last week when Mally and Freda (Bre-Z) began collaborating together the two of them have been making sweet music everywhere they go.
Last week it was in the studio.
This week at the barber shop in Brooklyn where, apparently, Freda works.
Hole up. Isn’t she from Philly? And when the fuck did she have time to obtain a barber’s license, clients and a shrine to her dead father Frank (Chris Rock) since last week? Fuck outta here Empire.
Anyway, Cookie isn’t feeling the Jamal/Freda combination because of her and Lucious’ involvement in Frank’s death. Cookie is convinced that Freda, who pistol whipped some random dude at the barber shop after he disrespected Frank’s memory, is a loose cannon and wants her to stay as far away from her family as possible. The collaboration between Freda and Jamal can never be a thing, so Cookie uses her super powers to get superstar female emcee Stacey RunRun (??) to spit on his track. The only issue with that is there’s a clause in Stacey’s contract that states she can be the only female lyricist on any album she’s on.
First of all bitch, fuck you. You’re not gonna dictate how I express my artistry……is what Mally should have said. But since winning against Lucious is the main plot of every episode every week he immediately tells Freda that she’s out and Stacey’s in.
Hurt, Freda leaves because she understands the game. But clearly Mally doesn’t because he’s all set to record with Stacey in the studio. Well joke’s on you mutha fucka, Stacey sends over a pre-recorded track because she’s indefinitely performing on a promotional tour in Tokyo.
Jamal tells Cookie ‘This isn’t how I work mom!’ and runs out of the studio to find Freda at her Brooklyn barber shop sweeping up hair. He tells her ‘I don’t need Stacey. Let’s make music again!’
Freda’s done with Jamal and gives him a very vague ‘Maybe’ before the two of them part ways. The gay Salt n Pepa may be breaking up. But at least Freda has her broom to push across the floor.
Push it real good Freda.
Everyone Must Portray Infinite Recurring Extras
I’m convinced that, like Stacey RunRun, Terrence Howard has a clause in his contract featuring these six words (which spell out EMPIRE) because every week he gets more evil and all the other characters are fighting desperately to outdo him, and he simply cannot be outdone.
This week, CrazySexyCool Dre’ and Rhonda are trying to regain their love, Hakeem is trying to run Empire without any problems and Cookie is being Cookie, brash and beautiful as always.
And then there’s Lucious’ evil, messy ass.
He starts off by having Thirsty track down cute little Lola, Jamal’s daughter with whatever Raven Symone’s character’s name was last season, to have a DNA test done (we later find out that Lola is not Jamal’s daughter)
Then he has Thirsty and his goons break into Antony and Cleopatra’s warehouse to steal Hakeem’s Empire fashion line. He then has drugs stashed onto Tiana and Mirage a Trois’s tour bus so that their show gets shut down.
Then, after Anika comes back to inform everyone that she’s pregnant with Hakeem’s baby, Lucious pays her a visit to offer her ten million dollars to have the baby and then fuck off somewhere.
You think that would be enough, but his final act of fantastic parenting is embarrassing Hakeem at the shareholders
concert meeting by throwing all of the duplicitous deeds he helped facilitate back in Hakeem’s face in a room full of people who bought into the Empire dream. Immediately, as Hakeem looks visibly shaken, everyone wants Lucious back in charge.
By the end of the episode, Hakeem Lyon is no longer the CEO of Empire Records.
There won’t be any highlights this time around. Just me stating a few things that I found wrong with this episode.
First and foremost, why the hell did they even bring that Stacey RunRun Love and Hip Hop Minaj harlot into the episode? She served no purpose and felt like another victim of Empire’s ByeBitch storytelling.
There was a scene where Lucious and Dre’ went to visit Lucious’ mother’s grave. Um, excuse me, didn’t you tell me last week you were embarrassed of me and your mom? And didn’t we end with a huge ‘FUCK YOU’ to each other? The fuck I look like coming to visit the graveyard with you after you made me feel like shit just last week.
I was glad Anika came back, but this child had the nerve to drop this bomb on everyone (Keem’s face was priceless) and then said some shit like ‘I just want to have a family’. Doesn’t she have parents? Why is she so desperate to be with the Lyon’s? Didn’t they ruin her life? Where are your balls BooBoo Kitty???
Speaking of Anika, did you notice how the scene with the shareholders meeting started before Lucious visited Anika, and then after he left her apartment he magically arrived at the shareholders meeting like he was Samantha Stevens in Bewitched.
Is Lucious a fuckin’ Genie?
This is done. Just found out Prince died. I’m done for the day.