I am somewhat of an anomaly because I’m a gay dude with a lot of straight friends, both male and female. Sometimes I wonder if I were to leave Philly and had to start over in a different city would the majority of my new friends be straight or gay?
And though that thought has entered my mind a few times it isn’t something that would hinder me from relocating or meeting new people because for me it’s not that serious. I know that homophobia exists just like I know racism exists but I would hope that neither one of those entities would play a part in whether or not someone would want to be my friend. And if it does, fuck ’em.
But I digress, back to my opening statement.
I have a lot of straight friends and about a month ago, while watching football, one of them dropped the F bomb (and not this one). Immediately he looked over at me and apologized and, though I hate that word as it annoys the hell out of me, I brushed it off because in a room full of straight men the word faggot will get dropped at least once. It’s one of those things I guess, so to get my point across about how much I hate that word I likened it to if they were in a room full of white people and someone dropped the N bomb.
One of my friends spoke up and said ‘I have to disagree with you there. It’s not the same thing.’
‘It’s exactly the same thing’ I retorted
He went on ‘No it’s not because people choose to be gay’
At the time when he said it I wholeheartedly disagreed because I didn’t believe him. But since I’ve had some time to think about it I’ve got to say I agree with him.
Being gay is a choice.
Take, for instance, Andrew Chad Caldwell.
You may have forgotten all about him due to the recent unrest and protesting taking place in Ferguson, MO which has dominated the news for the past week. But prior to that there was a viral video of a young man testifying during a COGIC convention claiming he had been delivered from his homosexuality.
Naysayers were adamant to bash him for his revelation and claimed that he was lying. Personally I thought the boy seemed a bit on the “special” side and was being used by the organizers of the convention as a pawn to state that their church could rid anyone struggling with homosexuality of their demons. And the backlash that ensued afterwards brought to light the reality that Caldwell was actually using COGIC to gain publicity to sell books.
See, he’s an author and wanted to make financial gains by renouncing his homosexuality and potentially garnering new readers.
Now, do I truly believe that this man went to a convention, caught the holy ghost and is no longer a homosexual? Of course not because that’s not how any of this works.
But do I believe that he’s made the choice to misrepresent himself so that he can be accepted?
Oh HELL yes.
And that’s where the choice to be gay comes in because whether or not you choose to accept your homosexuality is your decision. Because you can also choose to not disclose it for your own personal reasons, which is cool because it’s really nobody’s business anyway. Or, like Caldwell, you can choose to lie to yourself and to others based on your need to acquiesce to the phobias of others by remaining fraudulent for their sake.
Because let’s face it, nobody wants to be judged for something they have no control over.
Now I have a completely different outlook on the whole Being Gay Is A Choice debate because I do 100% believe it is a choice.
It’s a choice to let people know you exist. It’s a choice to have pride in who you are as a person because your experiences and your worth mean something. It’s a choice to give an example of not being a stereotype or a victim like how most homosexuals are portrayed. It’s a choice to be visible, relevant and outspoken (pun intended)
Yes, I chose to be gay because the alternative would mirror a life like Andrew Chad Caldwell’s. A life where my need for acceptance outweighs my need for fulfillment and happiness.
Because what kind of man would I be if I allowed others to decide how I should live my life?
Fuck outta here with that shit.
I’ll always choose the truth and knowledge of who I am over the existence of being what someone else wants me to be.
But then again, that’s not a choice to be gay.
That’s a choice to live life.