When I think about the infinite possibilities of 2015 and how I can make it 100% better than 2014 it puts a smile on my face. Because that’s when I realize that at this moment in my life, in January of a brand new year, I can do whatever I want to move forward with a different outlook. Change will be easy and I’ll do it without any setbacks because it’s a brand new year!!
And then, as I continue to have these lovely thoughts I am reminded that these are not new thoughts. Truthfully, all of my vices and bad habits are patiently waiting with their bags to sneak back into my brain to take up residence for another year.
Therefore I may have a brand new lease on life, but I’m housing the same exact tenants.
I wasn’t really paying much attention to that fact until reality pimp slapped me around New Year’s Eve.
In 2014 I downloaded the Timehop app onto my phone. Timehop is pretty cool because it searches your social media posts daily and compiles them into a list of what you said or did on that exact day in previous years.
Timehop basically threw a mirror up to me on New Year’s Day and said ‘Looky here mu’fucka, you say the same shit EVERY YEAR”
“Leave the bullshit of the past in 20XX”
“I’ma be better in 20XX than I was in 20XX”
“This is gonna be my year! I’ma do so much more in 20XX”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I know I’ve made a nice amount of changes in the past few years that I’m proud of (this blog being my favorite). Still, since this is my life, and I know what I was thinking when I wrote those posts, I realize that the words I wrote were to appease my innate sense of doing better without actually taking action towards moving forward.
So this year I’d like to bid adieu to the whole ‘New Year New Me’ theme because it’s bullshit. Yes, you can change if you want it and yes, you can have a great year if you accomplish the goals you set out for yourself. The problem with that theme is that there really isn’t anything stopping any of us from making those kinds of changes prior to the beginning of the new year.
There’s a term that I’ve heard being tossed around for years that I’ve never particularly cared for;
Being Emotionally Available
Though I’ve never appreciated this term in the context it’s primarily used for I’m going to borrow from this concept and put my own spin on it in regards to life in general.
Many people don’t give in to their emotions when it comes time to make decisions about their lives. We don’t tap into our feelings because we’ve always been taught to think first and react later.
Sound advice? In most cases, yes it is. However sometimes our feelings will let us know when something isn’t right so it’s never a bad thing to rely on how you feel if it will guide you to making the best possible decision. Also, once you’ve recognized that something is wrong you must make yourself available to the belief that you need change.
You must make yourself available to the idea that you can achieve what you want if you go after it.
And you should never purposely wait for a new year to begin in order for that change to take place.
So for 2015 I want to implement the kind of change that will become my new routine. I don’t want to keep placating myself with quirky inspirational sentences that I really don’t mean. I want to change the way I think about doing things and stop second guessing the decisions I make because that’s something I have always done and it really hasn’t gotten me anywhere beyond the complacency I feel now.
Ultimately I want to be more open and honest with myself about what I need, what I can accept and what I know will never be right for me. And though this mindset has once again started at the beginning of the new year I will make the changes, do the work and be successful so that when 2016 rolls around I won’t be praying that it will be a better year. I will simply be thankful and appreciative as I continue the success that is my life for another year.
I invite you all to do the same.