Kim Davis Met Pope Francis!


Last week the Illest World Tour began its last leg when Pope Francis graced Philadelphia with his holy presence. Prior to his arrival many authorities here in the City of Brotherly Love informed us all that his coming would warrant long lines, public transportation shut downs and a healthy revenue for the city as a whole.

When the papal smoke cleared and Pope Francis left our fair city the hype which preceded his visit seemed a bit overhyped, and our illustrious Mayor Squidward had a moment of non-Christian behavior at a press conference.

He straight up blamed the media for all of the excessive hype, and he did it like a boss!

I like that Obama in you Nutter. You just don’t give a fuck anymore do ya?

Well, secrets have been revealed in the aftermath of the pope’s visit. It has recently come to light that he held a private audience with America’s most celebrated bad employee Kim ‘Fuck Outta Here With That Gay Shit!’ Davis. Apparently Pope Francis held a fifteen minute meeting with Davis and her husband in Washington that was all kept on the hush hush until news of this meeting surfaced after his visit concluded.

And now, as should be expected, everyone is wondering why would he meet with her?

Isn’t she the lady who spreads hate through her inability to perform the tasks of her damn job?

Isn’t she one of the biggest hypocrites to ever speak out against marriage equality because she collects marriage licenses like they’re Pokemon cards?

I can understand why so many people are up in arms at this new found knowledge because everyone wanted this pope to be the kinder, gentler, more accepting deity of our times.

But here’s the gotcha; He’s still the pope. He is the figurehead of Catholicism, and even if he’s not as vocal as others before him about their stance on gay marriage you kind of have to run with the default notion that he’s not going to be 100% OK with it.

Here’s the other gotcha; he’s the pope.

If there’s an individual that believes wholeheartedly in their own religious convictions so much that they can’t perform a task as simple as doing their damn job (I’m sorry, I’m just so fixated on the fact that this bitch can’t do her job and still gets to keep it) why would it shock people to find out that a religious figurehead wouldn’t come knocking on her door to give her the Thumbs Up! for sticking to her guns?

And what grinds the public’s gears more? The fact that he met with her or the fact that they will never know what was truly said during this meeting?

In any event I believe that this one instance shouldn’t take away from the fact that his visit was historic and momentous for millions of people. However, believing that he wouldn’t do what pope’s do is ludicrous.

Case in point; he shirked his opportunity to dine with politicians to eat with the poor. He blessed a young boy who has cerebral palsy as soon as he got off of the plane here in Philly. He spread a message of love and joy to all of the millions of people who listened to him because as the pope that’s what he does.

Does it suck knowing that he would grace the Flea Market Liz Taylor of Kentucky and her 2nd/4th husband with his presence and tell her to “stay strong?”

If you’re a realist, NOPE.

Because he’s the pope.

He’s the one person on earth whose job it is to make everyone feel like they belong, and in his attempt to be that with one audience he has completely shattered the same trust he built with them by speaking to her.

It may seem like a slap to the face to all of the supporters of gay marriage but does that mean we all stop fighting because we fell for the hype only to be reminded that as the pope its his job to make people feel welcomed and special? It would be nice to have the cushion of his blessing but I never thought that was going to happen when he came to the US. And if you for one second believed that the father of Catholicism was going to spit some fancy shit like ‘Yes to the gays! YES TO EVERYONE!!!’ then you’re a fool.

Because he’s the pope.

And with or without his blessing the fight for marriage equality continues. If we lose sight of that then Kim Davis and all of her future ex-husbands will win this battle.





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