Kiss “reality” Good-Bye

ImageWhen I get home from work I immediately change the channel to either TvOne or Centric. Mainly because I like to have noise in the background while I’m doing things like cooking or surfing the net, but honestly I tune into those channels because I love, LOVE the old black shows from the 70’s through early 2000’s. Shows like Good Times, What’s Happenin’?, Gimme A Break, A Different World, Girlfriends, The Wayans Brothers, Cosby and one of my all time favorites Living Single.

If you pay very close attention to the premise of Living Single it’s just like the black version of Friends. However, that statement is in and of itself the biggest misconception because Living Single aired first. So in essence, Friends should be considered the white version of Living Single.

Just some food for thought.

Shows like Living Single and all of the other aforementioned programs still make me laugh out loud to this day. Even a few of the shows that came afterwards like Half & Half, and the eponymous Eve, starring Philly’s own Ruff Rydin’ princess from King High School.

Hold on here, first let me ask this question.

If the show was called ‘Eve’ then why was the main character’s name Shelly? That’s like Jerry Seinfeld calling himself ‘Jared Schneider’ on his own show.

However, bad name choices aside, I will always have a soft spot in my heart for those shows because there was a certain wit in the writing. There’s a cleverness and intelligence that is missing from black television today.

And I recognize that Tyler Perry’s success is an example of how dreams can come true, hard work pays of. Yeah yeah yeah. But his shows are very predictable, and can at times come off as a bit buffoonish.

Recently, while watching an episode of House of Payne very briefly I had to ask myself ‘What will this look like in ten years?’

Or 20 years?

If this show appears outdated and corny now then what will people think about it when we’re all older and being faced with a new crop of black television shows.

And that’s when it hit me. There really are no good black TV shows anymore.

Because all of the black characters we’ve come to know and love like Dr. Huxtable, Thelma and Dwayne Wayne are now being replaced by “real” people like Evelyn, Stebie and NeNe.

The people of Reality TV will still be around years after they’ve all had their fifteen minutes (feels more like fifty years) of fame through reruns for years to come.

Can you imagine a broke, fat, toothless Tami on a special called ‘Where Are They Now? Basketball Gran’moms’ in ten years? When there’s no one left to fight, no more drinks left to throw and you can’t form your lips to shout ‘BITCH!’ anymore, what do you do next?

Personally, I’m about ready for all of these Reality Whores to go somewhere and never come back. I get such a nostalgic feeling when I see all of my old shows and think to myself ‘Damn this was a good show!’ I doubt I’ll say the same when I’m watching a ten-year-old episode of the Housewives of Atlanta. Preferably I hope it’s the one where NeNe is shitting all over everyone because she’s rich. At that point in the future she’ll probably be heavy into the church in an attempt to make amends with God for all of her ugly behavior when she had money, because she’ll be broke and living in the projects by that point.

Hey, karma’s a bigger bitch than she is.

And the reality TV craze isn’t going anywhere anytime soon either. I used to say that “They” will make a show about anything these days. But then I’m constantly corrected with the phrase “They” will make a show about anything that people will watch.

I mean come on now….Honey Boo Boo? Sounds like a fat, funky out-of-work stripper from Kensington. I can see her now standing at the Margaret-Orthodox El stop at dawn waiting for the next train, wearing too-tight jeans and a shirt that’s just short enough to expose fresh, fleshy muffin-top for all the hungry haters.


I think that Reality TV should have stopped when Snooki became a mom.

That was clearly a sign of the apocalypse.  It’s the story of Mary and Jesus in reverse.

And I can’t front because I used to love the trashiest of the trashy Reality TV shows, but some of them just went too far overboard.

Like, on one episode of  the Bad Girls Club some girl spit on a pizza. (I’m not even looking for that clip, you on your own with that one)

That’s sacrilege in my world. How DARE you desecrate the holiest of all greasy foods?!!! Off with that bitches’ head at once!

I’ve gone off topic. Basically, TV sucks. And there aren’t a whole lot of shows with primary black casts that pique my interest.

True, there’s Treme’, which I haven’t watched yet but the shit must be good because it’s basically The Wire without all the white people (and my Omar, but he’s Chalky now, so I’m good with that).

Does this mean I’m not going to watch Reality TV? Hell no! I’ll still watch it in hopes that the people they showcase don’t become worse than the ones they highlight now.

Will I continue to watch the old black shows I love so much?

Yer’ damn right! All of those, AND Friends.

Because even though they stole the Living Single premise and ran with that shit like it was an original, I’m used to white people stealing shit and claiming it as their own.

I am in America after all ;)

(and it you think about that last statement for a moment you’ll agree that it’s the double entendre of LIFE)

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