This is a super accelerated work week for me due to the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday.
Granted, I know that the name Thanksgiving is misleading because I’m sure the American Indians weren’t giving out too many Thanks and well wishes as their land was being pillaged and stolen. If anything this holiday should be called Thanks for Giving Us Your Land Silly Mutha Fuckas.
But I digress. Even with the knowledge of the origin of this holiday it is still one of my favorites for a few reasons.
The first is because I get to eat, and I’m #TeamFatBoy all day. The second is that I get to see some of my favorite people. Third, and most important, I normally get the day after Thanksgiving off from work so I don’t have to curb my gluttony due to an early morning the next day.
For many the day after Thanksgiving, traditionally known as Black Friday, is a holiday in its own right because it ushers in the official start of the Christmas shopping season. Thousands of stores open ridiculously early and slash their prices to the white meat to ensure big savings for their customers.
Unfortunately things can get deadly at times (which is really fucked up when you consider that it should never be that serious over a TV in a country that worships consumerism as much as we do) and pandemonium ensues throughout the entire day.
As if that fact isn’t bad enough, most major stores and malls will open much earlier than they did last year.
10 hours earlier.
Which means that this year you can begin your Black Friday tradition at 8PM Thanksgiving Night.
OK, first off this is some bullshit. Are these stores hurting for cash so badly that they would deliberately cut into their employees family time by making them come to work? I hope they’re giving those workers time and a half but even that pales in comparison to the time they’ll miss out with their family and the large number of assholes they’ll have to encounter while they’re working that night.
Thanksgiving has always been a day where you can be greedy and now the corporations have finally gotten in line with their own plate. They’re piling the greens high next to the cabbage and the only turkeys are the ones who have to work on Thanksgiving night.
This Thursday, while you’re sitting with loved ones, eating good food, drinking good liquor and watching some good football please be thankful that you have the freedom to do so while someone else is battling a horde of Discount hungry demons as various versions of The Christmas Song provide the soundtrack.
In both instances, Greed will be on the menu.