No Oprah. No.

Saying that 2017 will live in infamy as “The Year of the Pervs” is an understatement. It will be remembered as the year many women came out to shed a much needed light on the longstanding history of sexual harassment within the Entertainment industry. Almost everyday, a new story spilled so much tea you’d think Lipton would’ve invented a new flavor called “DUH!” I’m not going to lie to you, when all of those stories were broken I wasn’t shocked because sexual harassment takes place everywhere. It’s probably taking place right now. I did, however,  give those ladies their respect for speaking out because there are still many women who remain silent and even more who carried that secret and shame with them for the rest of their lives.

On Sunday night the 75th annual Golden Globes became the world’s most fabulous memorial service as every woman in attendance donned black gowns in solidarity against all the pussy grabbing pervs in the industry. The highlight of the evening came when none other than Queen Oprah Winfrey, the recipient of the Cecil B. Demille Award, hit the stage and took everyone in the audience to CHUCH! (not to be confused with “church” which is probably a place that’s followed by an afternoon luncheon with deli platter ham sandwiches and Susan’s bland potato salad). Everyone went bananas for Oprah’s speech to the point where, in the aftermath, people were starting to murmur and hum with delight the following phrase:

Oprah 2020!

Oh I’m on board, if by Oprah 2020 you mean she’s going to host a few episodes of ABC’s 20/20 about celebrity worship and bad ideas. And I don’t say any of that to take away from who Oprah is as a businesswoman, cultural icon and all-around kick ass person. I love Oprah. I love anyone who can rise from humble beginnings and make a positive impact on the world. But do I want her to be my president? Hell no!

Because then what does that say about us as a nation? That we’ve become so enamored with pretty speeches and fleeting positive moments that we never want the euphoria to end? That could be it, especially since we’re still being crushed under the heel of the first celebrity admitted into office almost a year ago. Then again, many could argue that the nation fell under the same spell when Obama was in office (feels so good to say his name). He was also called a celebrity, but the difference with him is that he was a politician first. He played the game. He was battle tested with his commitment to his profession. He didn’t start out on NBC and then think to himself “Yeah, I’m ready to be the president now“. The only other time I can think of a celebrity becoming president was during the Reagan administration and even then he was the Governor of California for eight years beforehand. Do we no longer require our leaders to have experience anymore? Clearly not since Don Cheeto is in office telling everyone he’s a genius (sidenote: he probably spells that word with a J.)

Although Oprah’s speech was empowering and much needed during a time when many women are finally stepping up and letting everyone know they’re sick and tired of the bullshit an empowering speech alone isn’t enough. If anything it should light a fire under all of our asses to be more engaged with the laws and practices of the nation. It should empower us to keep speaking our truths and not accept substandard treatment by anyone, regardless of how much power they have. It should remind us that we can control our life experiences by standing up for what’s right and aligning with like-minded people who share those values. Because we’ve still got a looonnng time before this current season of The Apprentice: We’re Fucked wraps production in 2020. And by that time I hope we have all done our homework and chosen the right person for the job because they’re the right person for the job, not just because they can help bandage a few scars at the beginning of a very long battle.

Oh, and sidebar (just because I’m an asshole) Ivanka Trump tried to praise Oprah’s speech and Twitter hit her with a collective “NOT TODAY SATAN!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!! See, no good can come from carrying the last name Trump anymore. Because that legacy is tarnished….


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