Passing The Torch

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If the Entertainment business is the Ho Stroll, then Walt Disney was a bigger pimp than Superfly.

Why you ask? Because he’s been turning young girls out for years.

Back in the 1950’s there was a young woman by the name of Annette Funicello who was one of the stars of the original Mickey Mouse club. People from my generation will remember her as the Skippy peanut butter lady. But old pervs who didn’t have internet porn back in the day will remember her as the dark haired beauty with big tits. She later went on to star in a shitload of 1960’s Beach party movies and unfortunately she died earlier this year from Multiple Sclerosis.

Annette serves as the prototype for Daddy Walt’s Walk of Fame Ho’Case (aka The Mickey Mouse Club)

Let’s fast forward to 1989 when the Mickey Mouse Club was rebooted for a new generation. The show was a starting point for the careers of many young actors like Keri Russell, Ryan (my favorite white man) Gosling and Justin Timberlake, to name a few.

And even though the three aforementioned stars have had fantastic careers, they pale in comparison to both Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

First and foremost both Britney and Christina originally attempted to portray squeaky clean Girl Next Door types to fall in line with their personas on Daddy Walt’s Big Money Showcase.

However, no one could contain all of the slorishness which was to ensue in the next few years. Britney went from asking to be hit repeatedly to informing you that she was into bondage, a pre-op transsexual and loved to kiss biohazardous waste.

The fans loved her, but eventually she turned to drugs, went crazy, had a major comeback, and now resides in the positive light of Icon status amongst the people who remember a time when Britney was Beyonce’.

Then you have Christina. Her persona was much more edgier.

I’m a Genie in a Bottle translated to ‘Come Fuck Me Now!’

What a Girl Wants translated to ‘Come Fuck Me RIGHT Now!’

Come on Over translated to…well, that one is just obvious.

Still, she went from aggressively suggesting you fuck her to DEMANDING you fuck her. And she made those demands for years. These days she has a more toned down look and can currently be seen judging aspiring singers on The Voice.

Now, with such examples to live up to like Annette, Britney and Christina one would think that Daddy Walt’s top three Bottom Bitches could never be surpassed. Especially when you take into account that Annette’s image was wholesome throughout her entire career. Even if she was running around a beach half butt-ass nekkid she wasn’t creating stripper anthems with her music.

Because now we live in an era where young girls who grew up gyrating to Britney’s music or attempting to hit Christina’s notes have gotten the game all confused. It’s no longer about talent anymore.

It’s all about Shock Value.

And what’s more shocking than one of Daddy Walt’s top earners going from being America’s sweetheart to becoming a news item on TMZ?

There’s a new standard to live up to once you graduate from Daddy Walt’s Charm School. It’s no longer about aspiring for a career like Annette’s that encapsulates respect and good feelings. Hell, it doesn’t even revolve around whether you can become a Living Legend like Britney or Christina. (Because to their credit there was a time when both of them commanded big numbers and big money. And it wasn’t that long ago but unfortunately, for them, that time ain’t coming back.)

The new trend is How Much More of a Mess Can I Be Than ______.

Clearly Britney erases Annette as the prototype in this category. But Lindsay is currently wearing the crown.

And Miley is trying everything in her power to snatch the crown off of Lindsay’s head so she can Krazy Glue it to her own.

I’m assuming that when you spend your childhood in the spotlight there isn’t much room for error. You have to be perfect at all times and your personality has to somewhat match the characters you portray. It must be a ridiculous amount of pressure. Like living with an overbearing parent who leaves little margin for failure. You must be “On” at all times. So, once you’ve left the home of said parent you begin wylin’ out. You start popping your ass, sticking your tongue out, grabbing your titties and acting like a harlot all in the name of shock. It’s nothing more than a cry for help honestly. Much like Britney did when she shaved her head. She was letting everyone know “Listen, I’m a little fucked up here. SOMEONE….Please care.”

Much like Lindsay.

Honestly, I’m surprised she’s still alive but everyday must be another day in hell when you have a bad reputation with most people in Hollywood and both of your parents are washed up losers that only care about the money you provide. I can only guess that’s the same issue with Miley because she’s acting out in the same ways and there’s no one around to pull her to the side and say “Looky here little girl, go put some clothes on and sit your ass down somewhere. Read a book. Find a hobby. But whatever you’re doing now, please stop”

Another reason Daddy Walt’s Teenage Dreams turn into Twenty-Something Nightmares is because they are thrown money and independence at such a young age. When you’ve got enough money to do whatever you want with little to no supervision you’re going to do whatever the fuck you want. And that’s not necessarily a good thing. Especially for kids because they need structure. Once you take away discipline and boundaries you’re left with an immature, maladjusted young person who isn’t mentally equipped for the long road that is Life. Money alone cannot make you a well rounded person.

When I was little I had people of substance to look up to. People who provided examples of what it meant to be successful and respected. And though I know that these Entertainers should never be considered role models they are the ones swimming in the sea of celebrity on a daily basis. We hear about them all the time and their behavior does shape the minds of those who are fascinated by them, especially young kids.

And I must be honest. Not all of Walt’s escapees become turned out, drug addicted trollops with something to prove. Look at Raven Symone. She has done quite well for herself and has lived her life with minimal scrutiny in the public eye.

But the public doesn’t care about success stories.

We want the mess. The decline.

The examples of how Hollywood can kill you with the quickness if you’re not careful.

And Daddy Walt’s girls never disappoint, so stay tuned.

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