Phoine

ImageI have always been a sucker for a pretty face.

I’m a man dammit! Men are stupid, visual creatures.  None of us want to be with someone we don’t find attractive in some way, but in my experience I have at times let better looking men get away with shit that I would have quickly shut down with uglier brothas.

Does that make me shallow?

Yeah, it probably does.

ImageI think it goes back to when I was in my 20′s. The winter of 2000 to be exact, when I had just started at Temple. I was 22 years old and I had met this dude named “Joe”. “Joe” was older (26), had a great sense of humor, was fine as fuck and mysterious. He was, in fact, sooooo mysterious that he never let me have his phone number so I had to wait for him to call me. Imagine my young, dumb 22 year old self walking around the house (because this was way before the advent of cell phones) with a cordless phone in hand all day long waiting for this mysterious mu’fucka to call me?

Pathetic right? Hold on, it gets better.

Whenever we would hang out he would say ‘Yeah, don’t pick me up at my crib. Pick me up at the corner of Broad and Allegheny’ and I would think to myself ‘Oooohhh…he’s so mysterious!’ Well, at that time I needed some help from Velma to uncover all of the damn mystery. Because this dude was either:

A) Married

B) Had a Girlfriend

C) Had a Boyfriend

D) All of the Above

He was pretty fucked up, and I was a dumb ass, but he was phoine! And he taught me a very valuable lesson that I needed to be more selective in who I chose to deal with.

It was a lesson that I hung onto for about three months until the summertime when I met “Joey”.Image “Joey” was also bad as shit. Like, How Can Anyone Be That Fine? bad.

He was so fine that he had a kid, who was a cutie pie. Still, it made me wonder ‘Here you are, the handsome father. And here’s your precious daughter……where the momma at?”

Keep Reading.

One day, as the two of us were laid up on the couch watching television, enjoying a few beers and the cool breeze coming through his window I got up to take a piss. After I was done I just so happened to notice a ring shaped box on the counter near the sink.

Ruh Roh!

“Joey…” I call out to him. He strolls in, looking sexy, innocent and smiling. I nod towards the box. “What’s that?”

“Oh yeah, that’s a ring for my daughter’s mom. I’m going to propose.”

Word?

I wish I could tell you that I left him on that day. But alas no. I truly left after I found out he was cheating on me. And that wasn’t until another couple of weeks after I started cheating on him with some other dude.

I never said I was an angel people.

I think the conversation went something like ‘Yeah, this isn’t working for me’ while I was preparing to go out on a date with the other dude.

Well that was long ago. And I wish I could say that I don’t fall so quick and so hard for physical beauty anymore. Alas, even now, a handsome face, beautiful smile and nice sense of humor still gets me in trouble every time. I’m like the black, gay Archie falling in love with the most handsomest thing that walks by me.

Of course, I’m not as dumb now as I was thirteen years ago. That time laid the foundation for me to know the rules of the game. But still, every now and then I will come across a dude who makes me stop and say

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