PrayerCenter_Main.ashxToday marks the beginning of Lent.

Will you be successful in your sacrifice?

I’ll share with you two of my Lenten tales so gather ’round children and listen carefully.

Lent 2011: I decided to give up pizza for the 40 day sacrifice. Friends said ‘Nah n!gga, you can’t do that!’ Co-workers mocked me and ate pizza damn near everyday just to spite me. But I knew I could do it. Even when I was in New York City, the HOME of Pizza, I stuck to my resolve and did not have a slice. It was by far one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. I don’t have to tell you that when Lent was over I ate pizza and Stromboli’s almost everyday for an entire week. I gained a good 10 pounds but I was happy because I had stuck to my goal(?)

Lent 2012: I decided to give up alcohol for the 40 day sacrifice.

Fourteen days later I was at the bar drunk as shit.

Honestly, I don’t know why we all get so worked up about Lent. If you’re going to give something up that you plan on going back to right after Easter, then what’s the damn point? Do we do it to please God or to please others by telling them what we plan on omitting from our lives for forty days? That’s like a porn star saying ‘Don’t jizz in my hair today because I’m getting it done later. Wait until tomorrow baby’

The ideal word is SACRIFICE, which in one of it’s many forms means ‘the destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else’.

Whatever you choose to give up this year should be something you’re choosing to give up forever. And since I don’t want to fail as miserably as I did last year (I mean really…Two weeks? I cried tears of joy when I downed that first vodka cranberry) I’m giving up something that begins with the letter N and rhymes with the word ‘Muffin’.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *