The Best Advice I Can Give You



I’m not big on bullshit.

And I can’t stand someone that’s fake.

For those two reasons alone I fail at brownnosing. Well, that and I have always been taught not to kiss anybody’s ass. If I give you praise it’s because you deserve it, not because I want something from you.

In my working experience I have found there are two types of employees: The Smart Kind and Everyone Else.

First, let’s start with the Smart Kind. They’re the ones who will go above and beyond in their position to handle the responsibilities of their job with professionalism and attention to detail. They don’t compromise their work ethic or engage in office shenanigans and hierarchies because it’s just a job.

It matters as much as it has to.

These people range in behavior from mild and caring to cold and distant, but their work speaks beyond their demeanor.

They go to work, do the job, shut the fuck up and go home.

Then you have Everyone Else.

They dress for each other. They get into office gossip and cliques. They barely work or will not take on a task they feel is beneath them. But their worse offense is the crime of Ass Kissing.

Don’t get me wrong. At work, everything is a game. Some play it with their brain while others play it with their emotions. Instead of doing their job the right way they’d rather see who they can suck up to the most to get accolades, or even take the credit for someone else’s work because they live for the adulation. They hide their incompetence with overzealous attempts to placate the Higher-Ups. You, as their co-worker, are a nobody.

For Everyone Else, the bosses are who they aspire to be the most but realize they never will be because they don’t believe in themselves. They only believe in the negative aspect of Work Life and use their duplicitous powers for Evil.

They’re the living, breathing, At-Work Super Villains.

Personally I’ve never understood why they act this way and I have worked with a multitude of them ranging from a racist, Jewish lesbian to a lifelike Mr. Magoo who’s afraid of his own shadow.

We all know them, and we know how they move because for all of their efforts at being smarter than everyone else they’re really not that smart at all.

And they know it. And they spend their entire careers fearful that the people they come in contact with will find out as soon as they meet them. So they laugh at the important people’s jokes a little harder than everyone else. They revel in the lackluster admiration from a manager or supervisor because they need the attention.

And they always will be that extra because it’s the only way they know how to survive.

When you know what you’re doing, and are working because it’s necessary to maintain your lifestyle, you don’t work hard because you want someone to acknowledge it. Being acknowledged is nice, especially by someone above your pay grade. But you’re not doing any of that for them.

You work hard because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Your reputation should be one of respect and if you do what you’re supposed to do respect will come from your peers.

Years ago I got some of the greatest advice from one of my favorite people. He said to me ‘Ben, whenever you do something make sure you do it right the first time. That way you won’t have to do it over and over again’

Most people adhere to this rule, especially within the group of Everyone Else. Because the first time they kissed the right ass and got some attention for it they had to keep doing it over and over again.

So take this into consideration when you come into contact with these people: Your job is to work. Their job is to kiss ass.

Who do you think the Higher Ups will respect more?

Just a thought.

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  1 comment for “The Best Advice I Can Give You

  1. Vanessa
    August 15, 2013 at 8:28 am

    I used to work in TV…where everyone was an ass kisser and the people who did coke and chain smoked with the execs got the next jobs. I didn’t do coke, I refused to take up smoking and guess who no longer works in TV?!

    I guarantee you I’m happier than most of those I left behind because I was only ever me. I can’t bear those fake people who ass kiss to get ahead. One day, that will be their downfall…

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