The Glamorous Life


Oooh Ooooh!

When I was on my fabulous (free) world tour years ago I partied a lot. I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning, drinking new concoctions, dancing to new music, making new friends and living all of my new experiences to the fullest.

It continues to be one of the best times of my life so far.

I remember one of my travel mates was a young girl, maybe 23 or 24. She was cool, and she loved to party. But she didn’t just love to party.

She loved to par-tay.

On a particular rainy night out on the town in Buenos Aires she turned to me and said, ever so innocently ‘Ben, one day I’ma get you to try coke’

I laughed at her because clearly the bitch was high at that moment and needed to run her new comedy routine by somebody.

Let me make it clear right now I am not a proponent of recreational drug use outside of marijuana. However, that being said, I can see how marijuana got its label as the ‘Gateway’ drug because if you smoke enough pot it starts to lose its effect and you’ll need to jump onto the next thing to keep the party going.

For those who want to be sedated, it’s pills. For those looking for a more dangerous rush, it’s heroin. And for a few select veterans in the Get High game ain’t nothin’ like that crack rock! That shit becomes a marriage between the user and the product until death do them part.

But in my experience the People’s Champ is that Mighty Whitey.

AKA The White Horse, Snow White, Blow, Yayo, Gutter Glitter, Booger Sugar and Nose Candy (I aways found that one funny as shit).

I’ve never understood the allure with cocaine. I think it may come from the stigma of it being a high end narcotic that embodies status, good times and coolness.

Many celebrities are known to take a quick whiff of the Vanilla Powder, but they’re rich so they can get away with it. Ultimately if the addiction is brought into the limelight it adds to their celebrity (Lindsay). And if they die from an overdose the world will mourn their loss, plaster their photo everywhere and pay homage to whatever their contribution to the world of Entertainment was.

But regular mu’fuckas? Nah, you’re just a cokewhore.

You ever had a conversation with someone who’s high on coke? They get that glassy eyed look and just start talking about a whole bunch of nothing. It’s similar to when someone is drunk and gets the rams, but it’s worse because they won’t shut the fuck up. Eventually a drunk person will pass out somewhere and sleep the liquor off. But not the cokewhore. He/She just keeps talking.

Rapidly and Loudly.

And don’t let them mix that shit with alcohol because THAT’S when the real fun begins.

Years ago I had to put a friend in a cab because he was so fucked up from alcohol and whatever else he was on that he kept falling off of bar stools and fidgeting with his money. It was a whole mess and I couldn’t leave him there like that. I remember this other time I was in a bar in Sydney and there was a girl who was zooted out of her mind. She was staggering in her heels and clawing at the bar to regain her composure. And her eyes looked crazy. I moved out of her way because I didn’t want her to knock my drink over.

Hey, she wasn’t my friend. I wasn’t putting her ass in a cab.

I don’t necessarily like cocaine but if that’s someone’s twist my only advice to them would be to make smart choices. If it feels right, do it. If not, don’t.

In any event, I’ve seen what the shit does and it ain’t pretty. It’s all fun and games now but remember the immortal words of Rick James.


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