Tuesday’s Thought

Fuckin’ Idiots


I’m in my Andy Rooney bag right now so bear with me.

You ever notice how SmartPhones have made us all so damn dumb?

Think about it. What was one of the first things your parents and teachers taught you when you were little?

How to spell your name and write your phone number.

20080904-0104 Kyle and his Kindergarten Teacher Mrs. Metzl


Those days have been replaced by iPhones and kids being taught the simplicity of saying ‘Call Mommy’ and awaiting SIRI’s prompt acquiescence.

Granted, that’s not necessarily a bad skill for a kid to have. But come on. They should at least know how to write numbers in case their battery dies.

I can’t lie though. I’m one of those people who needs my phone to rely on remembering numbers. If I didn’t know you prior to 2004, when I officially became Sprint’s bitch, then more than likely your number isn’t committed to my memory.

Ironically, since I’ve had the same cell phone number since 2004, if I’ve come across you on the streets in the past nine years and you tell me you “lost” my number I know you’re lying.

Moving right along.

Have you ever asked someone something as simple as ‘What’s the capital of Spain?’

How many people will give you a blank stare, say ‘Hole up’ and go to Google to find the answer?

Honestly, how many of you just went to Google to find the answer?

Don’t feel bad. There’s more.

For all my single people out there. You ever used a dating app before? I’m not sure what the straight ones are but if they’re anything like Grind’r or Jack’d then they’re probably rife with photos of horny, half naked hoes with screen names like ‘cum_n_me’, ‘lookn_4_now’, ‘The_DickMistress’ and so forth.

Most conversations probably start with a ‘Hey’ or ‘Sup’ or my personal favorite ‘What are you looking for?’. Would you walk up to someone on the street and say “Hey, what are you looking for?” then extend your hand and tell them your name is Pretty_Titties69? Or, as they do on Facebook, walk up and poke someone to get their attention? Hopefully, that’s a negative to both scenarios.

What about manners? The two friends walking down the street both so engulfed in their phones they never speak to each other at all. The ironic thing is one will probably send the other a text at some point, they’ll giggle with quick eye contact and then go right back into their phones. Then there are those instances where a fight breaks out at a club, or on the streets, or at a McDonald’s and EVERYONE pulls out their phone….to start filming the incident. Not to call the cops. Hell, not even to call back-up for the person getting their ass kicked. And then after the person is humiliated, sometimes rightfully so, the video is uploaded to the Internet so that the world can see it.

I think these phones should be renamed SmarterThanYou phones because all of them are smarter than us. They retain basic info that we’ve all clearly forgotten. They hold our attention so much that sometimes we become mindless zombies, running into all kinds of shit and ignoring one another. They steal our most common sense of intelligence by turning us into violent, sex starved Neanderthals. Which begs the question, if Life is a constant evolution then what happens when we become dumber while the technology becomes smarter?

Just something to think about.



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